Script outline revised

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Following comments off my peers I redrafted my Short Film Outline:

A young Businessman stumbles out of a lift, dazed and out of breath he holds his cheek as if he has been slapped. A flashback reveals why.

This has got be a joke. Right?  Is Brian’s first desperate comment. For once he knows the answer. Being stuck in a lift to your own devices is everyone’s idea of hell but can it get worse? For Brian and Isobel it does as after a five-year divorce they find themselves reuniting in awkward circumstances . Trapped together alone in a store lift they cannot believe their luck (or rather lack of it). Left to each others company until someone puts them out their misery they reluctantly decide to talk and a frustrated argument between them again reveals the petty things between them that broke them up; Brian’s Mismatched socks and Isobel’s extortionate use of bubble bath. Things get emotional and intense.

Isobel a feisty young woman finally cracks. Did you ever really care about us? Brian looks into Isobel’s tearful eyes and a flood of emotions takes over. Things seem hopeless, as they both look equally frustrated. He takes her hand with a look of guilt. The first time they had been honest with each other in a while he looks to the floor.  The audience is taken outside the lift as engineering works begin outside. The door finally opens and we see the man walk out from another perspective. He has a lipstick mark on his cheek.

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One thought on “Script outline revised

    danielbarbumediapro said:
    November 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Brilliant grl … love it. 😡

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