Using the feedback which I received from my focus group on Twitter I set about completing a second draft of my script.
To do this professionally, and in a way that I can learn from I followed the 13 steps to a second draft script as designed by the scriptwriting website Goldmine.
The author talks about the importance of giving your script patience and space before making any changes. As I have set myself a schedule to finalise my script, leaving myself some space before coming back to it felt a bit unnatural to me but as you can see it is a while since I have blogged and I only recently finished a second draft.
I am very glad that I did.
After coming back to my baby, I felt like I knew the characters better and could therefore script them and the relationship with each other more solidly then I had before. After the time had passed, I was slightly less emotionally attached to my first draft which meant that I could make drastic changes without feeling like the work I had put into the first draft was wasted.
Taking away this emotional attachment to my work in order to make changes, is an important part of being a writer and a skill which I aim to develop throughout the finalising of this project.
The main changes that I made were to greater distinguish between the different universes, I did this by iconising the character of Tom and the ball that Chris plays with. In the first world Chris breaks the floor with his ball and dismisses the idea of playing with Tom, in the second world he could not find his ball and Tom is not up for playing and in the world where they have nothing they have neither but end up wishing for them.
In the first draft which I did, Tom was a technique rather than a well-developed character and I felt this was too obvious and bought the rest of the script down, this was mentioned by my focus group too. For this draft I aimed to develop this by transforming his character from ‘say it to show it’, so rather than have him as a narrator, I rewrote his dialogue to have him as a meaningful part of the story who although hints to the movement of the narrative it is much more disguised.
I even finally came up with the improved name ‘Crash’ as it was semantic with both computers and the collapsing floor.
I am again going to leave my script for a while before returning to it to make my final draft, but this is Crash Enjoy.